The Popcorn Rating System

Now, as any Justice Speaker should know, you need to have an official popcorn rating system for anything you read, watch or enjoy. Well, here is just the thing you were looking for!

One Star : Popcorn Kernels

Yes, the bane of all popcorn. When you are scraping the bottom of the barrel, you get the popcorn kernels. Avoid at all costs! Turn, and save yourselves before it's too late!

Two Stars : Burnt Popcorn

The classic burnt popcorn, made by novices or just bad cooks. Don't waste your time, just grab another bag.

Three Stars : Plain Popcorn

I mean, you can eat it, but don't pretend you enjoy it.

Four Stars : Sweet and Salty Popcorn

This is the "Oh, go on, just one more bag" kind of yummy. Mmmmm!

Five Stars : Caramel Coated Popcorn

This is the pinnacle of deliciousness. It is sweet, tasty, and sticks to your teeth, just hinting that you should eat more to get rid of that ridiculously healthy feeling you were harbouring.